lollipops!

i will survive

2006-05-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

wows its really great my right hand is nearly handicapped alr.

i have to finish 50 frames (rendered drawings) by tonight.
i'm currently at..frame 30? ater..a couple of hours.
i'm drawing with such fury, agitation, speed and HAPPINESS my hand is trembling now.
shocked that i could still type.

o give me the energy.

i'd like to say that...

2006-05-11T22:39:00.001+08:00

i like it when u call my name instead of aye.
(i like private names too(:)

I didn't really want to say this

2006-05-10T22:10:00.000+08:00

But I don't like the way you say my name.

since feeling is first

2006-05-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a far better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for eachother: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

i like my body when it is with your

2006-05-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like,, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big Love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

EE Cummings.

I love this , it's so beautiful.. I don't dare to breathe when I read the first few lines.

flip?flop.

2006-05-10T19:05:00.000+08:00

as i said, people who would take their own lives wont tell ppl that they are going to do it.

i can still rmb how my parents explode when they saw my results slip.

everyone hates me now.

2006-05-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

somethings that have been said for too many times would appear to be lies..
"i was going to jump off the building"
sorry i couldn't be less harsh.. sorry i took it as just another 'threat' of yours..
sigh..

only about six months left to A levels.. for the first time i am really terrified.. i feel very unprepared and flopping A levels has never seemed more real.. i need to settle down..

time to study.. and remain focus..
well.. certainly easier said than done..
but i have to try.. because the stakes are high.. very high..

band concert was quite.. think 'delightful' would be the word.. kept me tappin to the rhythm at certain parts.. :) good job!

co concert in about a months time.. hope all goes well.. to put a nice full stop to my times with the pipa..

faith is dead without deeds
its important to do something about what we care and what we believe in; even if what we do would not neccessarily present the best results we hoped for, at least we did something, and its crucial in carrying on our faith
hm.. food for thought..

its hard to not take the easy way out..
but if you managed to, be glad that you're among the special few..

what's my dream?
i haven't thought about this for a long time..
hm... ...

(o.0)

so enjoy

2006-05-03T22:01:00.000+08:00

i love u pls feel better:)

(i realised this can apply to all of u)

2006-04-24T22:35:00.000+08:00

heiyo! me back to talk a little..

yy din come to sch today.. but pq din noe.. so when she was near her class bench on level 1.. n saw a vaguely recognisable form on the bridge on level 2.. she tot it was her beloved yy.. thus she waved frantically.. only to get a bout of puzzling stares.. ha..

i ended lesson n walked back to me class bench.. i was lookin somewhere else when suddenly i heard an unmistakable squeal.. which grew louder by the moment.. i turned.. n pq was chargin at me from her class bench! (which is beside me class one) ha..

sorry pq.. hope i din make u sound too crazy.. :p but hey gal! glad ure so energetic on a monday! makes me happy to see u.. :)

anyway.. announce to make! i got a NEW PHONE! its the PEBL U6 from motorola that i've been droolin about since last yr end.. v nice design (or so i think).. connectable to pc via usb cable.. can charge it while plugged to the com too.. n a cool sleek keypad.. yay! :)

if my mood swings were plotted on a graph of happiness against the hours of a day.. i bet it will be sinosuidal graph with a frequency thats too high to be determined.. ok bit exaggerated la.. but u get e idea..

shall go on with playin with me phone.. :) cya!

peiqi

2006-04-20T22:12:00.000+08:00

I like it when I hear you call me Peiqi instead of PQ.

:)

angry

2006-04-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.

i will turn over a new leaf.

my day

2006-04-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

woke up late for mornig assembly today.. but still early for day's lessons.. ha.. so took out a piece of paper n wrote scribbles.. that was my saving grace for aep tutorial.. but anyway.. i finally decided.. i shall be a toy maker for cats.. designing n modelling the toys out of sculpey clay.. it looks really fun.. b its over baked! yea.. so for the first time in a while.. i actually felt genuinely excited about my coursewrk.. really.. certainly hope its a good sign.. :)

ok.. so after that i packed me stuff n went to sch all ready for the day's lessons.. den i overslpt on the bus.. only to wake up n find myself right the the door step of kk hospital.. was really disoriented n angry at myself.. called for assurance but got laughed at.. "v funny, v funny!" so had a teary bus ride back to sch.. it was one of those moments that i wished i could just disappear without a trace.. :(

reached sch n had a short lived bout of laugther.. cos the first person i saw was.. believe or not.. kk! (full name: kay kay) ha.. he was actually eating sushi on the way to math lect..
me: what a bad morning..
kk: waht a hungry morning.. (still munchin on sushi)
me: u noe what happened? i overslpt on the bus n ended up kk hospital.. now the first person i see in sch is u!
kk: HAHAHA.. next time u go kk hospital i give u discount! (still stuffing his sushi)
haha.. :)

yea.. now i'm back home alr.. feeling quite drained.. mama actually called my erge who's now in spore to complain about me today.. apparently she doesnt understand wad'is a fac committee member.. she thinks i'm being a dumb volunteer to org the fac outin.. thinks i'm wasting my time.. thinks i duo guan sian shi.. she even said how come last time my dage could be so free in jc den i still busy over such things.. ARGH!! my dage homewdin even cared about his rk.. he didnt have to make the effort to study hard u noe.. he was smart.. even when he made the effort to fail.. (by reading comics instead of his lit text on the day b4 his lit exam) he got a B.. dage is dage; me is me.. my parents dun seem to appreciate the difference.. :(

forget it.. -.-

i have a pimple on the outer boudaries of my lower lip.. highly annoying..

macs HAPPY meals are gettin boring n dull n increasingly uneffective..

ok.. cya all! to those in hc: have a good phy test tmr! :s

messy messy!

2006-04-18T12:10:00.000+08:00

wad a bad day i had yesterday.
i went to strings prac with sara and we had our burial there.
its was an ultimate humiliation to sightread in front of all those experienced players, and it didnt help that we we stuck with the first parts.(cos dun have score)
RAWRRRRR.
that woman beside me...super unfriendly. WANPING.i'd rmb u.
"can u manage the 1st part?"she asked with a sneer.
she isnt a good player herself.why that smug?
i tried making frens with her and she is so hao lian.she didnt even ask me wads my name. omt.
lian hao dun hao lian maH!

sara was asked to play a note and she play wrong..then the whole orchestra laughed.
we really wanted to dig a hole and hide.
then can u believe it? 3 hours there...we spent 2.99 hours counting bars..
65 bars..2 count note. then 25 bars...7 bars..16 bars.RAWRRRRRRR ALL REST!!
then MADNESS STILL NEED TO TRANSPOSE!!!!!!!!!!! we play horn in F ..but the score is not in F but in D/ E...just not F! rAWRRRRR. so when we play every note must shift down by a third if it is in D.
ITS MADNESSS.

and we were really stressed cos the strings sound fantastic.

practice finally ended at 930.
me and sara crying,"WU4 SHANG4 ZEI2 CHUAN2 LE4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

the sch was rly dark..we couldnt even see wad we stepping on.
then the floor rly wet..we walk to the gate that time got a slope and it looked like a skiing slope so slippery so we had to turn back.
den take another route...i climb that wall den trip and hurt my leg.RAWRWAR)WIRA.
while walking to the bus stop we had to flip open our phones for light.
171 came and the wholeeeeeeeeeeee bus dun have a single soul except the apunehneh bus driver.

really scary.

i'm telling all of u..i've never typed so fast in my entiire life.

before that practice i went town w sara n lilin to buy kk's bd pres.we bought a $52 belt as AA as an AA battery and AA like his GOLDEN bag.
its really cool.
wad a suay day..while waiting for the bus my bra strap dislocated itself at the back..so it was dangling the whole way to school.
i felt really unbalanced.
lilin n sara keep laughing at me..den i also wanna laugh but cannot laugh too hard if not it will drop.

yesterday i was overwhelmed with confusion.
my thoughts are as messy as my hair now.
band seems flooded with politics.
i'm worried.

as for my problems..yes i'd triumph over them cos i wear triumph!
ahahHa.

i wish i could be more verbal too.
its really weird.
i can be super verbal and frank to ppl i'm okay with...
i can talk rubbish like a never ending river ..even with ppl like..CHIOK'S FATHER?
but when it comes to ppl close to me like my family, my mouth freezes like ice.
melt it pls.

xiang hui dao guo qu

2006-04-18T05:25:00.000+08:00

this's it.
our lives can never be tat innocent anymore.
the carefree and happy go lucky days are gone.

we've grown up

SIGH.

i'm kinda sad at this point in time. i dunno why. but i'm comforted tat i have u all with me. though sometimes, we're so distant(physically), and we never talk to each other for days, i know tat u all are within my reach always. no matter how much others can disappoint and discourage me, it's ok cos u all form the most concrete foundation for me to fall back on ultimately. so wad i wanna say is tat i'm really thankful for each one of u. :) i know i've said tat million times, but still, i mean it every single time i said it.

we all have our own worries and dismays, but lets face life with courage and we'll be able to triumph over them! dear guatpei and yanyun, love ya lots. may my love give u strength, cos i know i'm not always there for every obstacle u face.

-----------------------------------changes tone--------------------------------------

haha. it's the FIRST TIME i blog so i shall sound happier!!! yay. i'm glad this's revived! haha. hullo to all who have been here! pls treasure this entry cos it'll be ages before i leave my word here again! haha. so long!

loves hugs and kisses

gan chu liang duo

2006-04-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

yy sorry to quote u again.. but wanted to start the post with something like "what a thoughtful day.." but realised "gan chu liang duo" is jus so apt.. hm..

yea.. today i din go sch.. dun ask me why cos i dun really know e real reason..

anyway.. went to a macs outlet to do work today.. hopin to catch up on some overly procrastinated stuff.. well.. had some progress but the point is that in the rainy afternoon.. i saw two people who weren't suppose to be there.. lets call them W and G.. they were surprised to see me.. but somehow i wasnt as surprised to them both..
well.. soon after.. W got a call from her sis, whom she was supposed to meet at that point of time.. but bcos she went out of sch n was stuck in the same macs outlet that i was in due to the heavy rain.. she could not make it to meet her sis.. then her father called.. and ltr she related the call to me n G..
"he said, 'do u know ure being very irresponsible? u made a promise n you should kp it!' i was tempted to say, 'so what? u made a promise to my mum XX years ago n u didnt kp it too! haha!'"

such a light-hearted and nonchalant tone was used that i didnt really take note of it.. until it suddenly popped into my head a while later.. n subsequently popped many more times into my head throughout the rest day.. with each recurring recollection of W talking to me about the phonecall.. i felt more n more uncomfortable.. the whole thing was like nudging me.. urgin me..

kept me pondering for quite some time.. i guess what i can say now is..

pls take your own words and actions seriously.. they do have an effect on the ppl around u.. though the ppl closest to u are also the ones dearest to ur heart.. the irony is that.. they are also the ones who will feel the greatest joy and yes.. the greatest pain..

shall go on to complain about ironing.. now i can really appreciate me mama.. she has been doin the ironin for me for 17 years.. well i dunno if she did complain when in her younger years or not.. but being a housewife for 30 yrs and bringing up 3 children is no easy feat!

i wish i could b more verbal..

back to the ironin.. ironed my 3 sets of uniform today.. probably used twice or thrice the time me mama would have taken.. got it done finally though.. but not without some hiccups here n there..
would have been scalded for at least 5 times today if not for the wonders of the human reflex action
toppled the container used to hold water.. twice
wasted more water by missing the iron's opening for water while tryin to pour water into it
well.. it doesnt help that its alr 4 mths into 2006 and this is only the 4th time i have ironed my uniform.. ops.

wow.. think this the longest blog entry i've ever written..

pls stay happy, my closest friends.. :)

2006-04-16T15:57:00.000+08:00

quoting yy "fathers, and most of all, mothers" sigh..

i jus hope i survive tonight without much casualty..

well.. at least i still have a battle-mate: me brother
though sometimes he'd change camp n act totally like me mum.. i really find it comforting to have him around..
though he makes me cry n frown n annoyed me for countless number of times.. i believe life would have been much more difficult without him..
though he didn't play a part in makin my childhood years more memorable.. at least he made me stronger and more resistant..
though he talks too much n plays too much computer.. i still think i'm quite lucky to have such a bro..
erge ah.. thank you..

What's What?

2006-04-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

As i peeled off your masks, true colours were laid out before me like a talking Mondrian.
I couldnt stop, for truth is what i seek.
So oops! i accidentally peeled off your skin as well, and your flesh, if there's even anything beneath that outer epidermis.
finally, the residue was a handful of air.
its just an empty shell.

-shallow.

I felt like a child, believing entirely in smiles.
Veracity found me, traumatizing me with Reality.
Behind those tears, vision was shockingly clear.
Behind that smile, behind that look, behind that(person's) back.

-hypocrisy.

You were yelling.
Could i not yell back?

-anger.

i wasnt wrong.
but u are always right.

fathers.and worst of all, mothers.

i can explain the above.

today i quarelled with my parents.
i came home with so much fear.
i dunno why liddat i dunno i dunno i dunno!
why is it that a little more understanding and less volume is so difficult?

i felt really high at hy's bd party today, maybe a little too high for my own good.
but at least my thoughts were redirected.
at least i felt better, though i am suffering from some after effects now.

2006-04-15T01:43:00.000+08:00

Be Yourself.

Stayover!

2006-04-14T10:24:00.000+08:00

yest me yy pq sm and cindy went to town for dinner.. after our comical aep lesson, (complete with red umbrellas and human pendulums), me and yy went to meet pq and cindy at wisma first.. we made our way to town with bong.. the pleasant faced one.. (hm...) anyway.. there were some ny girls sitting next to us in the back row.. one of them was showin her friend the badges she has on her pencil box.. she was like, "this is i buy one, i buy, i buy, XX buy, i buy, XX buy, i buy, i buy.." then yy turned to me.. "is she speakin in thai?" hahaha!

at wisma.. we were at e quiksilver/ripcurl/roxy store.. sm was no where in sight.. so cindy n yy took the chance to bet.. yy: "i bet she's still at queenstown!" cindy:"no la.." "ok.. lets bet.. i say queenstown!" "wait wait.. let me calculate.. (looks at her watch) Tiong banru!" n so i called sm and lo n behold.. she was at raffles place alr! hahaha..

we also went to flsh n splash.. dat was when sm reached and when she walked into the shop.. yy n sm jus cha1 shen1 er2 guo4.. i tot yy purposely ignoring sm.. BUT NO! she nv see sm at all! again, she turned to me, " where's sm ah?" hahaha!

on the way there.. pq asked, "how's your day gp?" i answered, "so so la.." that sparked off a singing session by pq.. "do re mi fa so so la!" do re mi fa so so la~" do re mi fa so so la~~" all the way t0 far east.. hahaha!

next.. when i was talkin to me son, cindy, while walking.. suddenly i heard a loud "pang!" i turned n saw cindy bending down.. not in pain.. but laughin at herself cos she jus kicked a road sign.. haha.. cindy pls take care! :)

on the bus back to me house.. we were chattering n somebody asked if me bros are at home.. "oh.. only erge la.. dage's on call.." suddenly there was a confusion.. "on call?" "eh?" n yy and pq shouted (yes shouted in u bus full of ppl) "your dage is a TAXI DRIVER! hahaha!" -.-

yes.. so we reached home.. slacked ard.. talked online.. n watched a movie.. american pie (band camp).. wasn't too bad actually.. got some erm~ scences though.. oh! n we ate FOSSIL FUELS!! haha.. its actually the name of ben n jerry's new ice cream flavour! very yummy.. pls try it if your a choc lover.. yummylicious! mmm~~! :)

now the's next morning alr.. pq n sm left for church.. n yy is sneezin real badly.. poor thing.. hope she's right that its a pyschological thingy.. get well soon sunshine!

happy good friday ppl!

hm.. *yawn~* what a lazzy morning.. :)

DIRTY SEMOS

2006-04-12T12:12:00.000+08:00

yesterday during band i was very happy cos during el camino real, the horns sounded super. i dunno whether is it becos of the inclusion of yanru- i hope its not.
but i was elated to find out that all the other sections also think the horns sounded super:)

but i really hope leng don nag so much anymore.
where is his sense of urgency?

i also love this blog i can write anything i want!!

FOR EXAMPLE,
i went dinner after band with some bandies and met the CLARINETSSSS(including david).
it was such a disgusting dinner i was surrounded by SEMOSSS.

while ordering, the lady asked alfred,"you? wad u want?"
alfred stared at her for VERY VERY LONGGGGGGGG (he said he was looking at her for inspirations..rubbish.semo!)
the lady laughed and asked,"I ASK U WAD U WANT WHY U LOOK AT ME!?!?!"

the lady writing on a piece of tissue..so farnie.
without thinking with my brain, i just shouted at her..
"AYE WHY U WRITE ON TISSUE PAPER!?!"
she laughed and said its becos no more paper.

halfway i realised the beef balls stuck to each other and there was a string-like thing connecting them, perhaps a tendon or a vein.so i raised them hanging from my chopsticks, asking innocently, "aiyo why liddat?"

the 3 boys, alfred, lormee and mong started to burst out laughing, leaving me in shock.

alfred,"OOOHH wad does it remind u of?"
me, "WAD?!!!?!?!"
mong,"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHOHOHOHOHO~~~~~~~~~"
alfred: *sly face*
lormee: *sly face*
mong: *laughing-in-pain-face*
me, "u all are thinking dirty!!"
lormee,"dun pretend u dunno..."
mong,"AAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHOHOHOHOAHOAHAHHA!!"
me,"i dunno!!!"

they elaborated as i felt my stomach going up to my throat and i didnt want to eat the beef balls anymore
- kk's eyeballs.

lormee, again,"dun pretend u dunnooooo...."
me,"how would i noe!??!....NOT LIKE I SEE BEFORE!!!?"

alfred started to educate us wad it is called in chinese.
i didnt understand it at first..so i asked,
"that thing u just said?wads it?"
alfred, "the thing in chinese lor."
me,"wad thing!??!"
alfred,"YOUR BEEF BALLS LAH!"
me,"the REAL thing???"
alfred,"YARRRRRRR... "
me,"then u say so loud?!?!?! the man behind u turned around and stared at u."

yanru once wrote in a letter to me:"i tear your breasts!!!"
while argueing, alfred exploded and he shouted to me, "I TEAR YOUR BREASTS!!"
i couldnt believe my ears. i just stared at him for very long, at a loss for words.

i complained to david sitting 1 m behind me..
me,"OMT DAVID I'M SURROUNDED BY SEMOS!!"
david,"HUHH!! WAD WAD WAD WAD HAPPENED?"
me,"they keep saying alot of dirty things."
david stood up very quickly and walked towards our table, asking excitedly,
"WAD WAD DIRTY THINGS!! TELL MEEEE!!!I WANT TO NOE!!!!!!!!!"
omg.

they told david.
then david,"OHH THAT! I NOE WHAT IS IT CALLED IN CHINESE LEH!"

omt.

before all these yanru told us that got one cai4 fan4 uncle ask her for hp number!
AHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA.....
me,"CAI FAN UNCLE?!?!?! AHAHAHAHHHAHAHA..."
yanru,"but he's really young pls be jealous!he's a cheffffff!"
lormee,"hoho..but chefs got..low fertility rate."
me, yanru,"?!?!?!?!??!"
lormee,"u noe...always beside the fire?high temperature...hm..."

omt.

anw..here comes a yanru joke.

SARA IS LAUGHING. guess a place.

SAHARA!!!

ahahhahaa...

peekaboo!

2006-04-11T18:48:00.000+08:00

yay! this blog is getting more lively..

oh.. i'm suddenly excited! CHEE YANG, the first ever campus superstar, is going to perform durin ATHENA faculty outing!! how cool is that? wow.. :) i really cant wait.. but there still lots of things to be iroined out.. so think e fac com is gonna hafta slog it out this wk n next wk.. yup.. hope it'll be a blast!

today started out really bad.. was suppose to be there at morn assembly to pass forms to fac head.. he's suppose to brief the j1 CT reps and give them the forms too.. so i set two alarm clocks to ring at 5 thirty and 5 forty-five respectovely.. still.. i woke up late.. :( i cant recall whether i offed the two alarms or not.. i dun even remember hearing them ring.. blah..

and den.. rushed n rushed.. waited at least 20 mins for a taxi.. ran into sch like a crazy maniac(did not have time to tie hair).. well.. managed to pass some forms to some CT reps.. but now i'm still holdin on to one.. hafta find out which class has not received the form.. bleh..

tired.. but oh well.. the rest of the day was uneventful..

another art mentor came to talk to me today during my tutorial.. n i'm more confused than ever.. 3 different opinions on one single coursewrk.. hm.. hafta make a final decision by next wk.. pray i make the right one la..

oh.. dinner-time.. cya!

i lurve this blog too..

2006-04-11T00:30:00.001+08:00

I am happy today..my Physics improved a lot! I think I jumped 200 places in the cohort or something. Anyway I like this blog I can write anything I want.

For example today I was so thrilled to meet KK about the announcement Alfred and I are making tmr.

But he was so sleepy when he met me.

"I'm so sleepy..Just now during Bio tutorial my eyeballs were falling out like testicles."

OMG Now everytime I look at his face I think of...!!!!!!
I can't make eye contact anymore!

Oh I am happy happy I hope tomorrow will be a good day cos I have a chem test that I have not studied for I have been watching TV oh no.

I think maybe I should take my friend's advice. Yanyun and Charmaine's. And stop putting in effort, or thinking so much or obsessing. I will stop. But it is difficult to love someone less, isn't it?

pp

shivering

2006-04-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

PQQQQQQQQQQQ u're giving me pain by saying that u are bringing me pain. u are NOTTTTT. pls UNDERSTAND. pls i beg.

u may continue.

band is getting exciting?i think it is getting scary. and worrying.

everyday i pray the concert wont be a flop.

and everyone would live in peace and harmony...and dun make me shiver in fright.

pq do u noe that your are already very very good..given that u only play for one year?
when i was in sec 2 my teacher say my sound like fang pi.
really i mean it..u are EXCELLENT. have more confidence!

because: mind over heart.

"when u are sad..u tell yourself u are happy and u would be happy. the mind is POWERFUL."

yes u will work hard.so will i. so am i. so shall i. so can i.

dun be sad about your family not coming.
my family isnt coming as well.i haven asked..but i noe they arent coming.
everytime i ask, everytime with hope i asked.
"do u wanna come to my concert?"
"i'm so busy!"
"u haven even asked when is it."
"when?"
"_ _ _"
"i where got time i need to go to work then i rush there?"
"its so near!"
"see first."
and every time i'm disappointed.

6 years as a bander, i think my mom only went for one concert.and after that she complained that its so boring.

there was one art fest concert.she bought tickets..when i was backstage, she smsed me she couldnt come.
i burst out crying like a fool.

i am too tired to ask if they wanna come for capriccio.

hopes= disappointment.

2006-04-09T19:48:00.000+08:00

This blog is like a private release.

I am thankful Yanyun reveal to me secret things that she wants to tell me sometimes but can't bring herself to tell me. I am sorry for all the PAIN my friends are going through because of me. I will stop. :)

Band is getting exciting as we work harder for concert. But I am also a little sad. I guess it is disappointing when I try but I just cannot get the correct rhythm. Or that my junior is playing better than me. It is inevitable. But somehow it hurts when I find myself slowly being pushed down from 2nd trombone to 3rd. I don't know how it happened and I just let it happen because it is true, I must admit to myself that my skills are mediocre. I miss the times I felt important and when I knew what I was doing (in the past everytime people need help in theatreclub they will come and find me). Because now I feel like I need so much guidance when it comes to playing or sight reading, that I am inferior to my peers and juniors! HORRORS! I am disappointed with myself. I am frustrated with my mediocrity. But I will not let incompetence overtake me. I will work hard. So I will look back on this concert and be happy that I did not let myself down. That is very important.

However I am sad my family does not want to come for this concert. Boo. I don't want it to come because it marks the end of my life in band. But I can't wait for it either.

Peiqi

sometimes..

2006-04-08T13:15:00.000+08:00

sometimes.. for some reason.. u just can't get to do something right..

its nothing god or life has against u..

its just a lesson to be learnt..

Let me get out

2006-04-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

Worry is engulfing me.

2006-04-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

had aep lesson today.. think i'm at a point where i can either make or break my coursewrk.. so lets just hope for the better..

journey to bpp was interjected with funny msges, people-watching and the repeated imitation of an econs tutor's hand gestures.. he offended yy terribly today.. such an insensitive teacher/person.. oh well..

trip to bpp was unfruitful.. went in empty-handed and came out.. u guessed it.. empty handed..
took a bus back n realised to my horror.. i left my ipod in the art room!! still plugged to the speakers.. i seriously hope it'll remain there till tmr.. argh..

jus did some research on the unfair treatment of abu ghraib prisoners.. got to see some images.. quite disturbing.. is it stress/fustration? or do they think its jus for fun? it is scary how men can be so cruel to other men.. we're human beings after all.. aren't we differentiated from other species because we have that bit more of intellect n the ability to feel? now we're no different from fauves.. FAUVES! all of u! blah..

finally painted our mortal's bday present today.. a pair of white canvas shoe was revamped! n ops.. did i mention its exactly one month belated.. it turned out quite well though.. but it further emphasised how me n yy's stlye jus dun mix.. variety is good anyway..

tmr.. hope the sun will turn brighter n that heaven would shine on us..

3rd April..

2006-04-04T14:52:00.000+08:00

blurred vision.. foggy thoughts.. fluffy feeling.. cloudy mind.. stifled happiness.. wavering confidence..

unspoken words.. stuffed emotions.. blank expression.. gapping mouth.. teary eyes.. tasteless food..

what a day.. i realise little teeny things can affect me very greatly.. and i dun even know what about those things are bothering me.. it just feels not quite right.. not quite satisfactory.. and yet they're way beyond my control.. so why bother? JUST leave it..

yanyun babe.. hope to see u in sch tmr! :)

shin mun dear.. hang in there k.. always remember that ure capable.. of achieving much more than u can ever imagine.. choc muffin will soon be served! :)

dear PQ.. those little chats in sch r short.. but always sweet.. :) n u bring me LOADS of laughter! stay cheery!

cindy my son.. let terms be gone.. n u shall start moving on towards your bright future k.. u r always my guai er zi! hope to see u soon! :)

bad day

2006-04-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

i feel horrible now.

oh i just had a crying session in my room i dunno i just feel horrible theres so many many things in my head and i feel stressed too.
but no need to comfort i'm okay now...REALLY.
wash the eyes only larh.

today is so stupid in the morning to council elections..so i went late after the elections. but i thought GP was 1130 when its act 11.so i decided to pon the whole day and i wennt to the art room.

i ended up talking to mr tan for more 2.5 hours.
UNBELIEVABLE.
theres so many things to do for coursework..seriously.now my storyboard must REDO.GUAT PEI..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH.

michk came to borrow shinmun's portable sewing machine.her laughter rang through the whole Hwachong.

Candy made me so sad today.actually i think its a small matter.but i was rly affected, hugging pq n crying n moaning..so silly.
i finally plucked up the courage to sms her to tell her that she shouldnt have used my painting.but who noes, she pass up alr.
michchen came n she said candy haven hand in and i almost faint on the ground...but in the end after dunno wad rubbish..she called mich to say she pass up le den i was forced to talk to her n i felt horrible.horrible.

sm told me,"i hate u, love!"
same to u.

another wk over..

2006-03-31T19:42:00.000+08:00

hello friends.. i've finally created an account for myself in blogger.. thanks pq! :)

oh well.. received a msg from yoketeng today.. sayin she's tired, bored and hopes to go shoppin soon.. (teng teng! we shall go hunt for nice earrings together soon k! cheer up girl!) anyway its been quite a while since we did that.. hm.. yea so me den found out that she actually has to go sch tmr n do clay stuff for her aep coursewrk.. no wonder the sian mood.. i can understand.. it alr wasn't easy to get motivated to do wrk during the GAP days.. n dat was with fellow GAPpers ard.. so now i can imagine how hard it is to do art in sch without the ever-hilarious-and-absolutely-silly singing and dancing sessions in the art room.. ha.. gettin all nostalgic here.. :)

anyway.. so i've decided that it shall be intensive art for these few wks to come.. -.- ok.. mayb not exactly "intensive" cos i dun think i'll survive.. but at least i should be moving in some direction n not remain stagnant anymore.. yup.. n i hope my two mentors can give me less diverse comments cos its not helpin me focus at all..

5 girl bodyguard! stayover next wkend? on? fri or sat better? n isit rite that u all wan it at me house? (accordin to yy) yea so see how la.. lets tok bout it soon.. :)

cya!

yanner

2006-03-31T14:18:00.000+08:00

hmmm blogspot cannot have password ah?huh...i feel like having a private blog for 5girl bodyguard.liddat can share secrets here!
for example,..dvd...hong hong hong..heh heh..

oh..the tv was talking about some shu4 xiong2(tree bear)...
it says that this animal sleeps 20 hours a day..den my mom said.
"HEY ISNT THAT U!?"
rawr.

HELLOO~~

2006-03-31T05:17:00.000+08:00

hi everybody! this is guatpei usin yanyun's account to blog for the first time in my entire life! ha.. anyway, blocks and terms are finally over.. n 5 girl bodyguard is supposed to have a slpover sometime soon.. shall let the slpover day be the official launch for this revived blog! hope we all can make it to witness the grand ceremony.. it'll be fun! ha..

background info..
we're a bunch of girlfriens n ex-classmates, who somehow can all appreciate each other n be great pals eventhough its amazing how different we all are! yup.. thats great! A-MEN! so hope nothing eva changes and we'll use this blog to keep in touch!
ha..

as for me.. u already noe my name's guat pei.. ppl do call me "gp" n "gopifish".. but i shall not elborate on how i got the nick.. currently a year two std in HCJC.. was from NYGH.. love dogs but lurve cats even more.. loves art too.. drawing, painting and everything else to do with it.. green colour's my favourite.. n ppl call me a perfectionist quite often but hey.. who doesn't want things to turn out purrfect? ha.. n i'm proud to be part of 5 girl bodyguard! :)

so hopefully we'll have more entries soon by other members of 5 girl bodyguard.. yay! thats all for now.. cya!

A new start!

2006-03-30T13:01:00.000+08:00

REVIVAL

2006-03-30T12:50:00.000+08:00

hello this is yanyun here me and guat pei have decided to REVIVE THIS BLOG!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
ITS SUPER DUPER DUPER EXCITING!!!! since..........2004!!!!!! WOOOO~~~

i have officially crowned guat pei the president of this blog. responsible for EVERYTHING since she dun have her own blog. heh heh.

eh hem.. PRESIDENT here! ha.. yea.. we shall revive this blog again.. cos dun u think its more logical for us to have one now? since some are in hc, some are in ac, n one is far away in Shanghai.. yup! so look out for this space for new entries soon!

2004-11-06T18:29:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone;

I'd like to thank 3 girls for making my birthday special.

Hmm, what about bodyguard? ;)

2004-10-20T16:21:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry.

JOKER!

2004-10-13T02:33:00.000+08:00

MOTHER: Come on, Billy, eat up your cabbage, it's good for growing children.
BILLY: I don't want to grow any children.

TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER: (sadly)You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT: (sadly)You don't know my father.

RON: You dance beautifully.
JEAN: I wish I could say the same about you.
RON: You could, if you were as great a liar as I am.

TEACHER: Now, Brian, what is the formula for water?
BRIAN: HIJKLMNO.
TEACHER: Not the alphabet!
BRIAN: You did say it was H to O.

Prelims

2004-10-02T01:26:00.000+08:00

Everyone sure is relieved the Prelims are over.

I was - until the results came to light. Most of us, excluding some soppy poos like Germaine, performed lower than what we expected.

And most of us were disappointed. If not in ourselves, then in the louya stingy teacher.

But I don't know the point of writing this.

I meant it to be a form of encouragement, but I'm not doing good at it. I know no amount of words will ever assure you of an entry into a top JC. I know whatever I say is rubbish, that I can just talk all my crap cos I'm not affected by anything. But even though I am lousy at choosing my words and right now acting like an idiot, stumbling over my sentences, I don't care.

I love you all, 4girls and a bodyguard, and whether we each do well or not, I will always support you all the way.

OH YEAH MAN!

2004-09-16T14:55:00.000+08:00

oh my i'm dreaming jay, sleeping jay, studying jay and eating jay. !!! eating jay..ahaa.

oh boy oh girl, very disappointed in myself for prelims. pq u do think any one of us in 5 girls & a bodyguard will get into the same jc for prelimS? sigh.my senior say hc need 8 POINTS LEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! maybe u can make it. gp too. shinmun like got no confidence get to nj liddat. but i think 12 like that she can one lah hor? ya! cindy never tell me where she wanna go one.arggghg. she go youth flying club for birds lah.

where shld i go if i dun get into hc?(which is highly possible.)

BLUE JAY CHOU

2004-09-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

EVERYBODY! PQ IS GOING TO BLUE CONCERT NEXT WEEK WITH BLUE!:) YAY MONKEY, GET FUNKY! (haahahaha so lack of humor.)

SHE IS ALSO GOING TO JAY CHOU CONCERT WITH YANYUN AND YUTIAN AND YOKE TENG! HOORAY:)!

shocking news!!!!!!!!

2004-09-13T13:15:00.000+08:00

ahaha..yesterday...something farnie yest shocking happened. my mom went to see the doc. to test for pregnancy.

HAHA - more jokes.

2004-09-11T00:24:00.000+08:00

"Mummy, does God use our bathroom?"

"No darling, why do you ask?"

"Well every morning Daddy bangs on the door and shouts, 'Oh God. are you still in there?"

*

Why do we sometimes call the Middle ages the Dark ages?

Because they had so many knights.

*

"George, you shouldn't fight. Learn to give and take!"

"But I did, I gave him a black eye, and took his apple!"

*

"Teacher, would you punish a boy for something he didn't do?"

"Of course not!"

"That's great! I haven't done my homework!"

joke time

2004-09-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

Jokes jokes and jokes.

koped from pq's perverse joke book.

How do you make a bloke scream when you are having sex?

Phone him.

blog reopened!

2004-09-08T12:58:00.000+08:00

oh babe! my blog got a new template! although it's still temporarily closed ah........but hey! i'm decided to reopen it.
oh ya...the pics can't come out ah.wadeva. after prelims then i mess w it.BAH.

RAWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

2004-09-08T12:52:00.000+08:00

hello everybody! hey i think we can write a short story of the things that have happened to us durin this 7th month of the lunar calendar. see....firstly it's the shinmun's doorbell...then the person my mom saw running up the stairs...then kum kum. and the hahahaha we heard at pq's house. and the shinmun's radio then went pop. and the sound of the opening of the door at my house. and the bubbling sounds shinmun heard worsened by the moving shadowsss..................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh~

sigh. i think i'm really gonna die for prelims. yest i told my mom...mom wad if i get 20 points. then she said...your business ah...................!!!!!!!!!! who tell you everyday talk on the phone, sleep, eat and watch tv.i dun care.............

sobs.

whoop whoop!

2004-09-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

Here I go whooping around like a little Red Indian
yelling and screaming say HEY!

Because
I want to say GO to PQ blog to SEE the PHOTO of the SLEEPOVER!

YEA!

so go. yah.

2004-09-06T02:33:00.000+08:00

I really wanna sleep. It's 2.33 am and I'm surrounded by a bag of Ruffles and an inanimate log known as Yanyun. Next to me is Shinmun, who has done nothing but pour water for me, feed me chips, and kept me awake all along - she is my beam of support, my - I ran out of words to say.

So tired now can! Stupid Yanyun. Suggested coming over to watch a ghost movie- which we found out was only half an hour. Feel like punching her. Only studied two kes, but that is better than yesterday when I only studied one.

We went swimming and steam bathing and HAHA alot of food.

Read my blog next time.

Hope you guys try out the links on the right they are quite interesting!!! :) Especially Cindy's and Guatpei's, since they don't have any blogs.

Love ya all!

P/s. Please scroll down the column on the right to see our photos (if you didn't know) and please tag! This is going to be a happening blog! (after Os)

HEY HEY!

2004-09-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

Dearest Lollipops

FORGET CACOPHONERS! THIS IS THE PLACE TO BE!