This blog is like a private release.

I am thankful Yanyun reveal to me secret things that she wants to tell me sometimes but can't bring herself to tell me. I am sorry for all the PAIN my friends are going through because of me. I will stop. :)

Band is getting exciting as we work harder for concert. But I am also a little sad. I guess it is disappointing when I try but I just cannot get the correct rhythm. Or that my junior is playing better than me. It is inevitable. But somehow it hurts when I find myself slowly being pushed down from 2nd trombone to 3rd. I don't know how it happened and I just let it happen because it is true, I must admit to myself that my skills are mediocre. I miss the times I felt important and when I knew what I was doing (in the past everytime people need help in theatreclub they will come and find me). Because now I feel like I need so much guidance when it comes to playing or sight reading, that I am inferior to my peers and juniors! HORRORS! I am disappointed with myself. I am frustrated with my mediocrity. But I will not let incompetence overtake me. I will work hard. So I will look back on this concert and be happy that I did not let myself down. That is very important.

However I am sad my family does not want to come for this concert. Boo. I don't want it to come because it marks the end of my life in band. But I can't wait for it either.

Peiqi