peiqi

I like it when I hear you call me Peiqi instead of PQ.

:)

angry

i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.i am a delinquent.


i will turn over a new leaf.

messy messy!

wad a bad day i had yesterday.
i went to strings prac with sara and we had our burial there.
its was an ultimate humiliation to sightread in front of all those experienced players, and it didnt help that we we stuck with the first parts.(cos dun have score)
RAWRRRRR.
that woman beside me...super unfriendly. WANPING.i'd rmb u.
"can u manage the 1st part?"she asked with a sneer.
she isnt a good player herself.why that smug?
i tried making frens with her and she is so hao lian.she didnt even ask me wads my name. omt.
lian hao dun hao lian maH!

sara was asked to play a note and she play wrong..then the whole orchestra laughed.
we really wanted to dig a hole and hide.
then can u believe it? 3 hours there...we spent 2.99 hours counting bars..
65 bars..2 count note. then 25 bars...7 bars..16 bars.RAWRRRRRRR ALL REST!!
then MADNESS STILL NEED TO TRANSPOSE!!!!!!!!!!! we play horn in F ..but the score is not in F but in D/ E...just not F! rAWRRRRR. so when we play every note must shift down by a third if it is in D.
ITS MADNESSS.

and we were really stressed cos the strings sound fantastic.

practice finally ended at 930.
me and sara crying,"WU4 SHANG4 ZEI2 CHUAN2 LE4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

the sch was rly dark..we couldnt even see wad we stepping on.
then the floor rly wet..we walk to the gate that time got a slope and it looked like a skiing slope so slippery so we had to turn back.
den take another route...i climb that wall den trip and hurt my leg.RAWRWAR)WIRA.
while walking to the bus stop we had to flip open our phones for light.
171 came and the wholeeeeeeeeeeee bus dun have a single soul except the apunehneh bus driver.

really scary.

i'm telling all of u..i've never typed so fast in my entiire life.




before that practice i went town w sara n lilin to buy kk's bd pres.we bought a $52 belt as AA as an AA battery and AA like his GOLDEN bag.
its really cool.
wad a suay day..while waiting for the bus my bra strap dislocated itself at the back..so it was dangling the whole way to school.
i felt really unbalanced.
lilin n sara keep laughing at me..den i also wanna laugh but cannot laugh too hard if not it will drop.



yesterday i was overwhelmed with confusion.
my thoughts are as messy as my hair now.
band seems flooded with politics.
i'm worried.

as for my problems..yes i'd triumph over them cos i wear triumph!
ahahHa.

i wish i could be more verbal too.
its really weird.
i can be super verbal and frank to ppl i'm okay with...
i can talk rubbish like a never ending river ..even with ppl like..CHIOK'S FATHER?
but when it comes to ppl close to me like my family, my mouth freezes like ice.
melt it pls.

What's What?

As i peeled off your masks, true colours were laid out before me like a talking Mondrian.
I couldnt stop, for truth is what i seek.
So oops! i accidentally peeled off your skin as well, and your flesh, if there's even anything beneath that outer epidermis.
finally, the residue was a handful of air.
its just an empty shell.

-shallow.


I felt like a child, believing entirely in smiles.
Veracity found me, traumatizing me with Reality.
Behind those tears, vision was shockingly clear.
Behind that smile, behind that look, behind that(person's) back.

-hypocrisy.


You were yelling.
Could i not yell back?

-anger.


i wasnt wrong.
but u are always right.

fathers.and worst of all, mothers.




i can explain the above.

today i quarelled with my parents.
i came home with so much fear.
i dunno why liddat i dunno i dunno i dunno!
why is it that a little more understanding and less volume is so difficult?

i felt really high at hy's bd party today, maybe a little too high for my own good.
but at least my thoughts were redirected.
at least i felt better, though i am suffering from some after effects now.

Be Yourself.

DIRTY SEMOS

yesterday during band i was very happy cos during el camino real, the horns sounded super. i dunno whether is it becos of the inclusion of yanru- i hope its not.
but i was elated to find out that all the other sections also think the horns sounded super:)

but i really hope leng don nag so much anymore.
where is his sense of urgency?

i also love this blog i can write anything i want!!

FOR EXAMPLE,
i went dinner after band with some bandies and met the CLARINETSSSS(including david).
it was such a disgusting dinner i was surrounded by SEMOSSS.

while ordering, the lady asked alfred,"you? wad u want?"
alfred stared at her for VERY VERY LONGGGGGGGG (he said he was looking at her for inspirations..rubbish.semo!)
the lady laughed and asked,"I ASK U WAD U WANT WHY U LOOK AT ME!?!?!"

the lady writing on a piece of tissue..so farnie.
without thinking with my brain, i just shouted at her..
"AYE WHY U WRITE ON TISSUE PAPER!?!"
she laughed and said its becos no more paper.

halfway i realised the beef balls stuck to each other and there was a string-like thing connecting them, perhaps a tendon or a vein.so i raised them hanging from my chopsticks, asking innocently, "aiyo why liddat?"

the 3 boys, alfred, lormee and mong started to burst out laughing, leaving me in shock.

alfred,"OOOHH wad does it remind u of?"
me, "WAD?!!!?!?!"
mong,"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHOHOHOHOHO~~~~~~~~~"
alfred: *sly face*
lormee: *sly face*
mong: *laughing-in-pain-face*
me, "u all are thinking dirty!!"
lormee,"dun pretend u dunno..."
mong,"AAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHOHOHOHOAHOAHAHHA!!"
me,"i dunno!!!"

they elaborated as i felt my stomach going up to my throat and i didnt want to eat the beef balls anymore
- kk's eyeballs.

lormee, again,"dun pretend u dunnooooo...."
me,"how would i noe!??!....NOT LIKE I SEE BEFORE!!!?"

alfred started to educate us wad it is called in chinese.
i didnt understand it at first..so i asked,
"that thing u just said?wads it?"
alfred, "the thing in chinese lor."
me,"wad thing!??!"
alfred,"YOUR BEEF BALLS LAH!"
me,"the REAL thing???"
alfred,"YARRRRRRR... "
me,"then u say so loud?!?!?! the man behind u turned around and stared at u."


yanru once wrote in a letter to me:"i tear your breasts!!!"
while argueing, alfred exploded and he shouted to me, "I TEAR YOUR BREASTS!!"
i couldnt believe my ears. i just stared at him for very long, at a loss for words.

i complained to david sitting 1 m behind me..
me,"OMT DAVID I'M SURROUNDED BY SEMOS!!"
david,"HUHH!! WAD WAD WAD WAD HAPPENED?"
me,"they keep saying alot of dirty things."
david stood up very quickly and walked towards our table, asking excitedly,
"WAD WAD DIRTY THINGS!! TELL MEEEE!!!I WANT TO NOE!!!!!!!!!"
omg.

they told david.
then david,"OHH THAT! I NOE WHAT IS IT CALLED IN CHINESE LEH!"

omt.



before all these yanru told us that got one cai4 fan4 uncle ask her for hp number!
AHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA.....
me,"CAI FAN UNCLE?!?!?! AHAHAHAHHHAHAHA..."
yanru,"but he's really young pls be jealous!he's a cheffffff!"
lormee,"hoho..but chefs got..low fertility rate."
me, yanru,"?!?!?!?!??!"
lormee,"u noe...always beside the fire?high temperature...hm..."

omt.

anw..here comes a yanru joke.

SARA IS LAUGHING. guess a place.




SAHARA!!!


ahahhahaa...

I am happy today..my Physics improved a lot! I think I jumped 200 places in the cohort or something. Anyway I like this blog I can write anything I want.

For example today I was so thrilled to meet KK about the announcement Alfred and I are making tmr.

But he was so sleepy when he met me.

"I'm so sleepy..Just now during Bio tutorial my eyeballs were falling out like testicles."

OMG Now everytime I look at his face I think of...!!!!!!
I can't make eye contact anymore!

Oh I am happy happy I hope tomorrow will be a good day cos I have a chem test that I have not studied for I have been watching TV oh no.

I think maybe I should take my friend's advice. Yanyun and Charmaine's. And stop putting in effort, or thinking so much or obsessing. I will stop. But it is difficult to love someone less, isn't it?

pp

shivering

PQQQQQQQQQQQ u're giving me pain by saying that u are bringing me pain. u are NOTTTTT. pls UNDERSTAND. pls i beg.

u may continue.

band is getting exciting?i think it is getting scary. and worrying.

everyday i pray the concert wont be a flop.

and everyone would live in peace and harmony...and dun make me shiver in fright.

pq do u noe that your are already very very good..given that u only play for one year?
when i was in sec 2 my teacher say my sound like fang pi.
really i mean it..u are EXCELLENT. have more confidence!

because: mind over heart.

"when u are sad..u tell yourself u are happy and u would be happy. the mind is POWERFUL."

yes u will work hard.so will i. so am i. so shall i. so can i.


dun be sad about your family not coming.
my family isnt coming as well.i haven asked..but i noe they arent coming.
everytime i ask, everytime with hope i asked.
"do u wanna come to my concert?"
"i'm so busy!"
"u haven even asked when is it."
"when?"
"_ _ _"
"i where got time i need to go to work then i rush there?"
"its so near!"
"see first."
and every time i'm disappointed.

6 years as a bander, i think my mom only went for one concert.and after that she complained that its so boring.

there was one art fest concert.she bought tickets..when i was backstage, she smsed me she couldnt come.
i burst out crying like a fool.

i am too tired to ask if they wanna come for capriccio.

hopes= disappointment.

This blog is like a private release.

I am thankful Yanyun reveal to me secret things that she wants to tell me sometimes but can't bring herself to tell me. I am sorry for all the PAIN my friends are going through because of me. I will stop. :)

Band is getting exciting as we work harder for concert. But I am also a little sad. I guess it is disappointing when I try but I just cannot get the correct rhythm. Or that my junior is playing better than me. It is inevitable. But somehow it hurts when I find myself slowly being pushed down from 2nd trombone to 3rd. I don't know how it happened and I just let it happen because it is true, I must admit to myself that my skills are mediocre. I miss the times I felt important and when I knew what I was doing (in the past everytime people need help in theatreclub they will come and find me). Because now I feel like I need so much guidance when it comes to playing or sight reading, that I am inferior to my peers and juniors! HORRORS! I am disappointed with myself. I am frustrated with my mediocrity. But I will not let incompetence overtake me. I will work hard. So I will look back on this concert and be happy that I did not let myself down. That is very important.

However I am sad my family does not want to come for this concert. Boo. I don't want it to come because it marks the end of my life in band. But I can't wait for it either.

Peiqi

Let me get out

Worry is engulfing me.

bad day

i feel horrible now.

oh i just had a crying session in my room i dunno i just feel horrible theres so many many things in my head and i feel stressed too.
but no need to comfort i'm okay now...REALLY.
wash the eyes only larh.

today is so stupid in the morning to council elections..so i went late after the elections. but i thought GP was 1130 when its act 11.so i decided to pon the whole day and i wennt to the art room.

i ended up talking to mr tan for more 2.5 hours.
UNBELIEVABLE.
theres so many things to do for coursework..seriously.now my storyboard must REDO.GUAT PEI..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH.

michk came to borrow shinmun's portable sewing machine.her laughter rang through the whole Hwachong.

Candy made me so sad today.actually i think its a small matter.but i was rly affected, hugging pq n crying n moaning..so silly.
i finally plucked up the courage to sms her to tell her that she shouldnt have used my painting.but who noes, she pass up alr.
michchen came n she said candy haven hand in and i almost faint on the ground...but in the end after dunno wad rubbish..she called mich to say she pass up le den i was forced to talk to her n i felt horrible.horrible.

sm told me,"i hate u, love!"
same to u.